Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Why Johnny Can't Write: Harvard Business School

So says alumna Paula Throckmorton Zakaria who appears to be married to Newsweek International editor and Harvard alumnus Fareed Zakaria (see his endorsement of Kerry below):

"Part of the ordeal of a meritocracy is constantly having to prove yourself worthy, especially to gatekeepers who stand ready to exclude you from the Next Big Step Up. Any number of twentysomethings, for instance, may feel qualified to attend Harvard Business School, to learn all that its prestigious faculty has to teach about making a huge success of life. But only a very few will get in. What is the secret of their admissions success?

"Impressive test scores and grades help, of course. But something more is required, something self-promoting and yet modestly revealing, something beyond mere numbers--in short, a personal essay. Even the next Bill Gates might pause at this point in the application process and wonder: What if I am a colorless writer who just cannot make a story come alive? What if I don't really have that much to say?

"The answer to such questions is essentially: not a problem. The proof is "65 Successful Harvard Business School Application Essays," a collection pulled together by staff members of the Harbus, the school's daily newspaper. "Upon graduating from college," one essay begins, "everyone expected me to join my father's business because I had been working for him part-time since the age of twelve. However a year before graduation the firm started experiencing financial difficulties that could lead to bankruptcy."

"Balzac this is not. The word "dull" even comes to mind. As for the prose itself, it doesn't take an editor to replace "been working for him" with "worked" and "started experiencing financial difficulties" with "had financial difficulties."

"And yet, the system works. HBS probably did the right thing to admit the guy who wrote that essay and most of the others in the book. The business school isn't looking for stylish and amusing writers; it is looking for good businessmen."